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A Basic Bitch's Guide to St. Patrick's Day


Basic Bitch - a slang term in American popular culture used to pejoratively describe people who like popular, mainstream products or music. According to Wikipedia. 

I pride myself on not being incredibly basic. But I mean c'mon, we're all a little bit basic sometimes - like pass me a Skinny Vanilla Latte from Starbucks and let me jam to Beyonce - amiright?! 

 There's one day a year though that almost everyone lets their basic bitch flag fly and that day is almost upon us folks. It's nearly St. Patrick's day me friends! *say that with an Irish accent, ok?*

 In case you're not always basic and you're having trouble figuring out just how to handle this drunken celebration, I'm here to help.

 A Basic Bitch's Guide to St. Patrick's Day:

 1. Buy the graphic Tee that every other girl between the ages of 19-28 will be wearing
No one will know that you're celebrating St. Pats unless you have a shirt that says so. See below for information:
"Kiss Me I'm Irish"
you're probably not Irish but that's ok. Go with it
.















2. Post too many pictures of you and your friends on Instagram about the holiday
Pics of green beer, you and your BFFs wearing the same shirt, a 15 second video of a dude playing Celtic music - all great choices. Just make sure to caption them all "ST. PATTY'S DAY 2015! #faveholiday"

         












 3. Drink. Drink WAY too much.
Drink all of the green beer you can find and then ask your friends "does this taste weird to you?????"
(Note: it doesn't taste weird. It's just not a vodka cran so your taste buds are confused)

"Coors Light tastes even better greeeeen!!!!"
     










4. Vow to drink all day and night 
Carefully plan out your (basically) pub crawl for the day with your friends and vow that this year won't be like last year and you won't pass out at 8pm (you will). 

This will be you way earlier than you want it to be.











 5. Yell at people for not being festive enough
"WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING GREEEEEEN?!?!"
       

6. Go nuts when you hear Celtic music
Odds are the pub(s) you're at will play drinking songs like Home for a Rest, The Night that Patty Murphy Died or some other classics. Make sure to go absolutely insane with excitement and belt out the words as loud as possible when they do.




 7. Get pictures with every ginger you see 
Because they're OBVIOUSLY super Irish right?
      

That's pretty much it. happy St. Patty's Day, ya'll!



Wine at the time: let's be real...it's gotta be beer.
















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